Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
