standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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