sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
