she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
