this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
