then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
