So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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