YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
