It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think I died a long time ago.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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