I'm really into asian looking animals
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
