Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
