Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
