I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
