i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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