Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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