well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
