his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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