it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
