I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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