If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can I color on your dick again?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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