but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
