So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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