We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
