In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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