Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
