he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
