At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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