??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
