I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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