I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
