Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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