You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
