hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
