one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
