hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
