i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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