Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
