I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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