oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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