I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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