she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
