If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just want to make out with him forever
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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