let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
