2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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