Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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