it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
