My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
