Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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