he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
