So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
