I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
