She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
