How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
